Friday, February 17, 2012
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Junk in my hands
God's gifts are great. But I can't receive them if my hands are full of junk. The pastor pointed this out in a recent sermon. I have filled my life with junk and find my satisfaction in junk. This leaves no room to hunger for God's presence. My time is full, my heart is full, my mind is full of junk.
So my prayer life seems dead. There is no way, no words to express this feeling of deadness. There is no "soul response." My Bible study time is mentally stimulating, but not satisfying as it has been in past days. I walk away with knowledge, but I haven't been in God's presence. And somehow that is okay?
So tonight, I found a new Bible app for my iPad. I listened to John, chapter 1, in Welsh...
There was a more useful aspect to this app (there are actually many useful aspects), a chronological Bible reading schedule. I read Genesis 1. Then I went to my regular place in my regular Bible, James. Then I began my regular prayer time. I have faith that God listens to my prayers even when I feel dead. That may be incorrect and it certainly is hard work to pray in this spiritual condition, yet I persevere.
Then God drew me into His presence. It was a gift. It was prayer and it was silence. It was comfort and it was conviction. It was satisfying, refreshing, and living- and it wasn't my doing. He graciously drew me in.
While making Bob's lunch afterward I started mentally contaminating this lovely, refreshing encounter with my own reasoning. "Faith without works is dead. If you act on your faith it is a living faith. I must be more devoted to God, more faithful in reading, more serious in prayer..." While all this is undoubtedly true, I cannot propel myself into God's presence by sheer willpower.
He drew me in. All I did was stay.
So my prayer life seems dead. There is no way, no words to express this feeling of deadness. There is no "soul response." My Bible study time is mentally stimulating, but not satisfying as it has been in past days. I walk away with knowledge, but I haven't been in God's presence. And somehow that is okay?
So tonight, I found a new Bible app for my iPad. I listened to John, chapter 1, in Welsh...
There was a more useful aspect to this app (there are actually many useful aspects), a chronological Bible reading schedule. I read Genesis 1. Then I went to my regular place in my regular Bible, James. Then I began my regular prayer time. I have faith that God listens to my prayers even when I feel dead. That may be incorrect and it certainly is hard work to pray in this spiritual condition, yet I persevere.
Then God drew me into His presence. It was a gift. It was prayer and it was silence. It was comfort and it was conviction. It was satisfying, refreshing, and living- and it wasn't my doing. He graciously drew me in.
While making Bob's lunch afterward I started mentally contaminating this lovely, refreshing encounter with my own reasoning. "Faith without works is dead. If you act on your faith it is a living faith. I must be more devoted to God, more faithful in reading, more serious in prayer..." While all this is undoubtedly true, I cannot propel myself into God's presence by sheer willpower.
He drew me in. All I did was stay.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
A V8, anyone?
It's denser than osmium. It's denser than solid hydrogen. It's denser than whatever may be at the core of the most ginormous black hole. It's... the disciples on a bad day! And I am just such a disciple. I so often can't perceive the obvious. (Or odvious, as Peter mispronounces for my amusement :-)
John 13:
1- Jesus, having loved his own... loved them to the end
So
4- He riseth from supper and
5-began to wash the disciples' feet
Jesus get's a basin and a towel and kneels down, much to Peter's horror!!! >:-0
Jesus was the Master, Rabbi, Healer, Recipient of God's audible praise- shining with glory...
He was not a washer of feet. He was esteemed, a powerful rabbi, probably the next king of Israel.
Peter: Lord, are you going to wash my feet?
Jesus: Don't worry. You'll understand later. (Peter never waits for later. Neither do I.)
Peter: You will NEVER wash MY feet!
Jesus: If I don't wash you, you will have no part with me.
Peter, now alarmed, speaks forcefully and without understanding. Just like me.
Peter: Then Lord, not just my feet, but my hands and my head...
Jesus surely must have smiled... even laughed..
Jesus: Peter, if you have bathed you need only to wash your feet to be completely clean.
Now comes the first clue... "Ye are not all clean." He said this of the one among them who would betray Jesus. Subtle clue, I'll give them that.
At diner, Jesus confides to those gathered there that 'He knows who He chose', and one of them will betray Him. (Clue 2)
Alarm!!! Look across the table. Is it him? Or him? Or...me?!!! They never suspected Judas. He, evidently didn't wear the traditional black keffiyeh with the skull and crossbones, typical of the middle eastern bad guy.
Peter, unable to stand the suspense tells John, who is reclining next to Jesus, "Ask Him who it is." I guess Peter felt he'd said enough for one day. I can just imagine the exaggerated enunciation that accompanied the stage whisper, and the gesturing finger- pointing to Jesus...
When John asks the question, Jesus ANSWERS (third clue): "He it is, to whom I shall give a sop, when I have dipped it."
Jesus then dips a sop and hands it to Judas. The idea had already entered Judas's mind. He thought his trip to make a deal with the authorities had been completely secret. Imagine how his heart raced as Jesus looks him in the face and yanks the cloak off his scheme. 'Does He really know?' He takes the sop and Satan himself enters into him.
Jesus tells him, "Do it quickly."
The disciples don't get that clue either, forgetting immediately what Jesus had said. They figured that giving a sop was the new signal for Judas to go to the grocery store or give alms to the poor.
Were they really THAT dense? It's a comfort to me. I regularly can't perceive something that is plainly before me. I gather all known facts and deftly arrive at an unrelated conclusion.
Judas was the only one with a clue. The very Lord whom he planned to betray had only ever loved him, chosen him, befriended him, and tonight, washed his feet. He'd already agreed to betray his friend for a price. He thought it was a secret. I can only imagine the shock as Jesus exposed him.
Do it quickly. He took the sop. Satan entered his heart. He immediately went out.
Verse 30 says, "and it was night."
What a miserable verse.
John 13:
1- Jesus, having loved his own... loved them to the end
So
4- He riseth from supper and
5-began to wash the disciples' feet
Jesus get's a basin and a towel and kneels down, much to Peter's horror!!! >:-0
Jesus was the Master, Rabbi, Healer, Recipient of God's audible praise- shining with glory...
He was not a washer of feet. He was esteemed, a powerful rabbi, probably the next king of Israel.
Peter: Lord, are you going to wash my feet?
Jesus: Don't worry. You'll understand later. (Peter never waits for later. Neither do I.)
Peter: You will NEVER wash MY feet!
Jesus: If I don't wash you, you will have no part with me.
Peter, now alarmed, speaks forcefully and without understanding. Just like me.
Peter: Then Lord, not just my feet, but my hands and my head...
Jesus surely must have smiled... even laughed..
Jesus: Peter, if you have bathed you need only to wash your feet to be completely clean.
Now comes the first clue... "Ye are not all clean." He said this of the one among them who would betray Jesus. Subtle clue, I'll give them that.
At diner, Jesus confides to those gathered there that 'He knows who He chose', and one of them will betray Him. (Clue 2)
Alarm!!! Look across the table. Is it him? Or him? Or...me?!!! They never suspected Judas. He, evidently didn't wear the traditional black keffiyeh with the skull and crossbones, typical of the middle eastern bad guy.
Peter, unable to stand the suspense tells John, who is reclining next to Jesus, "Ask Him who it is." I guess Peter felt he'd said enough for one day. I can just imagine the exaggerated enunciation that accompanied the stage whisper, and the gesturing finger- pointing to Jesus...
When John asks the question, Jesus ANSWERS (third clue): "He it is, to whom I shall give a sop, when I have dipped it."
Jesus then dips a sop and hands it to Judas. The idea had already entered Judas's mind. He thought his trip to make a deal with the authorities had been completely secret. Imagine how his heart raced as Jesus looks him in the face and yanks the cloak off his scheme. 'Does He really know?' He takes the sop and Satan himself enters into him.
Jesus tells him, "Do it quickly."
The disciples don't get that clue either, forgetting immediately what Jesus had said. They figured that giving a sop was the new signal for Judas to go to the grocery store or give alms to the poor.
Were they really THAT dense? It's a comfort to me. I regularly can't perceive something that is plainly before me. I gather all known facts and deftly arrive at an unrelated conclusion.
Judas was the only one with a clue. The very Lord whom he planned to betray had only ever loved him, chosen him, befriended him, and tonight, washed his feet. He'd already agreed to betray his friend for a price. He thought it was a secret. I can only imagine the shock as Jesus exposed him.
Do it quickly. He took the sop. Satan entered his heart. He immediately went out.
Verse 30 says, "and it was night."
What a miserable verse.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Kickathon
So anyways...
We had a kickathon at the karate school on Friday. I gave a flat donation and was told earlier that I wouldn't have to kick. Everything is subject to change in that place. It's good for me, I need to be more flexible.
So anyways...
When I got there, all the little white and purple belts were seated on the floor~ like ants seated at a picnic.. they were everywhere. While I put my tunic on, a mom tried nicely to tell her kid to sit down. I pulled my belt knot tight, put my mean face on, and LET HIM HAVE IT. It was SO MUCH FUN!! The mom said thanks.
As I was warming them up, the Gm came down and started his regular routine. Jumping jacks, a billion push ups. Hold that horseback position until you are crying. It was great. They seriously stayed in a plank position for 10 minutes while I walked around with 2 other senior belts yelling,"Get your knees off the floor! You have 2 stripes, why are you lying down??? GET up! GET OFF THAT FLOOR!!" Stickin' my toes under their knees to see if they were touching and yelling at everyone. It was SO MUCH FUN.
So anyways...
Then the senior belts were told to line up for the kickathon. Why do I ever believe him? All the little belts are standing against the wall, and as I'm doing my 300 stretch kicks I can hear their little brains saying, "Hey lady.. get your foot up there. Faster! Mrs stripy belt, why aren't you kicking higher. THAT IS NOT A STRETCH KICK~~ GET IT UP THERE." I tried to use the vibes that I was definitely receiving as encouragement. :-)
Then I gained 2 pounds. How does that work?
We had a kickathon at the karate school on Friday. I gave a flat donation and was told earlier that I wouldn't have to kick. Everything is subject to change in that place. It's good for me, I need to be more flexible.
So anyways...
When I got there, all the little white and purple belts were seated on the floor~ like ants seated at a picnic.. they were everywhere. While I put my tunic on, a mom tried nicely to tell her kid to sit down. I pulled my belt knot tight, put my mean face on, and LET HIM HAVE IT. It was SO MUCH FUN!! The mom said thanks.
As I was warming them up, the Gm came down and started his regular routine. Jumping jacks, a billion push ups. Hold that horseback position until you are crying. It was great. They seriously stayed in a plank position for 10 minutes while I walked around with 2 other senior belts yelling,"Get your knees off the floor! You have 2 stripes, why are you lying down??? GET up! GET OFF THAT FLOOR!!" Stickin' my toes under their knees to see if they were touching and yelling at everyone. It was SO MUCH FUN.
So anyways...
Then the senior belts were told to line up for the kickathon. Why do I ever believe him? All the little belts are standing against the wall, and as I'm doing my 300 stretch kicks I can hear their little brains saying, "Hey lady.. get your foot up there. Faster! Mrs stripy belt, why aren't you kicking higher. THAT IS NOT A STRETCH KICK~~ GET IT UP THERE." I tried to use the vibes that I was definitely receiving as encouragement. :-)
Then I gained 2 pounds. How does that work?
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Though you can't see it with the naked eye...
Romans 8:36 has always been a puzzle to me. "As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter." It seems to be plopped down in the middle of a declaration about our security in Christ. So, what part of "As it is written" do I not understand?
Pastor taught Ps 44 on Wednesday, and lo and behold, there it was indeed written. There seemed to be a similarity in contexts, but a remarkable contrast in perspective.
The Psalm rehearsed the wonderful deliverances that God had accomplished for Israel in the past. The Psalmist declared God to be his King and his only depository of hope, the boast of Israel and the banner they followed into battle.
Then he laments. He felt that God had cast them off, shamed them, abandoned their armies, made them a laughing stock, given them over to be literally conquered rather than to conquer. He admits confusion, since Israel had not turned away from following God (during this time) or put their hope in another country or another god. Why had God deserted them? They were God's special ones. His last appeal is for God to awake, arise, remember them in their oppression and redeem them. Right before this appeal comes the verse in consideration,"As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter." In this context I understand the verse.
The Old Testament understanding of blessing seems to be, if you do what is right before God, He will bless. According to the covenants, this would be right and logical. As Pastor Daniel used to say, "If you want to be blessed, you must first be blessable." Therefore the confusion in the mind of the Psalmist. Therefore the confusion in the minds of Job and his sorry friends. Therefore the question of WDBTHTGP? Frustration inside the box! Sorrow and despair.
Pastor Rich made the tie in with Romans 8. Interesting context. We are not condemned in Christ. We no longer walk after the flesh, or seek deliverance in it. It is weak, and we owe it nothing. We walk in the Spirit, having received righteousness and life through Christ's atoning and substitutionary and death. God has put his Spirit in us and made us his children, giving us freedom from bondage, making us His heirs, and promising that if we would suffer with Christ, we would also be glorified.
Now the perspective from outside the box,"For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."
Next the apostle acknowledges trials and troubles as the Psalmist did. We haven't received the glory, but are subject to vanity. We groan with the rest of creation waiting for the redemption of our body. But we hope in God, and the Spirit helps our infirmities and weaknesses. We don't even know how to pray for ourselves, but the Spirit intercedes for us. God knows the mind of the Spirit who makes intercession for the saints, and makes ALL things work together for good so that His predestined ones will be made into the likeness of Christ. Though we have tribulations WE KNOW HE IS FOR US, for He gave us his Son. Since He died for us, we know he doesn't condemn us but rather intercedes for us. Though we experience tribulations, distress, persecution, famine and worse, (here it is) "as it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter," we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us. (Though you can't see it with the naked eye. It doesn't appear so to the natural man, but the spiritual man can see it.) Nobody, nothing is able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus.
Even though our eyes may suggest differently here inside the box, Romans gives us the "out of the box" perspective. There is purpose.
And that is why I love Uncle Tom's Cabin.
Pastor taught Ps 44 on Wednesday, and lo and behold, there it was indeed written. There seemed to be a similarity in contexts, but a remarkable contrast in perspective.
The Psalm rehearsed the wonderful deliverances that God had accomplished for Israel in the past. The Psalmist declared God to be his King and his only depository of hope, the boast of Israel and the banner they followed into battle.
Then he laments. He felt that God had cast them off, shamed them, abandoned their armies, made them a laughing stock, given them over to be literally conquered rather than to conquer. He admits confusion, since Israel had not turned away from following God (during this time) or put their hope in another country or another god. Why had God deserted them? They were God's special ones. His last appeal is for God to awake, arise, remember them in their oppression and redeem them. Right before this appeal comes the verse in consideration,"As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter." In this context I understand the verse.
The Old Testament understanding of blessing seems to be, if you do what is right before God, He will bless. According to the covenants, this would be right and logical. As Pastor Daniel used to say, "If you want to be blessed, you must first be blessable." Therefore the confusion in the mind of the Psalmist. Therefore the confusion in the minds of Job and his sorry friends. Therefore the question of WDBTHTGP? Frustration inside the box! Sorrow and despair.
Pastor Rich made the tie in with Romans 8. Interesting context. We are not condemned in Christ. We no longer walk after the flesh, or seek deliverance in it. It is weak, and we owe it nothing. We walk in the Spirit, having received righteousness and life through Christ's atoning and substitutionary and death. God has put his Spirit in us and made us his children, giving us freedom from bondage, making us His heirs, and promising that if we would suffer with Christ, we would also be glorified.
Now the perspective from outside the box,"For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."
Next the apostle acknowledges trials and troubles as the Psalmist did. We haven't received the glory, but are subject to vanity. We groan with the rest of creation waiting for the redemption of our body. But we hope in God, and the Spirit helps our infirmities and weaknesses. We don't even know how to pray for ourselves, but the Spirit intercedes for us. God knows the mind of the Spirit who makes intercession for the saints, and makes ALL things work together for good so that His predestined ones will be made into the likeness of Christ. Though we have tribulations WE KNOW HE IS FOR US, for He gave us his Son. Since He died for us, we know he doesn't condemn us but rather intercedes for us. Though we experience tribulations, distress, persecution, famine and worse, (here it is) "as it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter," we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us. (Though you can't see it with the naked eye. It doesn't appear so to the natural man, but the spiritual man can see it.) Nobody, nothing is able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus.
Even though our eyes may suggest differently here inside the box, Romans gives us the "out of the box" perspective. There is purpose.
And that is why I love Uncle Tom's Cabin.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
We ARE Lost...doodoodeedoodoo
So, I started watching the series Lost (doodoodeedoodoo) while sitting on the runway at O'Hare in bad weather. They didn't know what the weather on our flight path was like, so they sent out a sacrificial lamb plane. "Sorry for the inconvenience, but we haven't heard from the plane we sent to check for bad weather. Perhaps they're ... going to get back to us in a few minutes."
I sat watching a portable DVD player displaying plane wreckage and bodies strewn all over. It dawned on me that I might be upsetting the passengers around me so I tilted the screen slightly for more privacy. The story was good. Lots of drama. A smoke monster that snatches people and gruesomely kills them.
I told the friend I was visiting that I was enjoying the series and she said,"I watched it for a while, but every episode was the same. 'Aaa, aaa, something's chasing us, run!!'" After a couple of discs I realized that she was right, but I had to know what was next.
Then we started making Jin jokes. "Udders!" "Fish." (pronounced feeesh) A new element refreshed the show with the introduction of the need to press the button to reset the timer every so many minutes, to keep the place from being destroyed. "New" "others" began appearing. We found that people were related to each other like an Arkansas family tree. Somehow, Jin learned English in about 3 months "Lost" time (doodoodeedoodoo). Of course, the new element of time travel may have given him an edge. People kept trying to get off the island, just to return to it of their own volition.
Somewhere in the middle of season 5 (doodoodeedoodoo), I was really tiring of the whole thing. Julie assured me that this was the last season and all would resolve. But this series is like a bad case of cockroaches. Even blowing it up with an H bomb didn't kill it. (Like that song... The cat came back- the very next day.. mmwwaaahahahahahaha)
So, yes, with renewed hope that the series will end, I continue following it. There are now OTHER "others". The smoke monster is still on its murderous rampage and we still don't know why anyone is there.
And today it dawned on me. THE SERIES ITSELF IS THE ISLAND. We are the captives. We keep being duped and deceived and still return for more. When we are tired of the whole thing and just want to go home, it offers just the right thing so that we blow up the escape sub or the freighter. After escaping, we willingly leave LA, get back on a disaster-bound airliner and end up in the same place we've been for 5 years. Lost. (doodoodeedoodoo)
It's like sin- "Takes you farther than you want to go, costs more than you want to pay, keeps you longer than you want to stay."
However, they promise that THIS is the last season. So, who's with me on the island? And why are we here?? doodoodeedoodoo
I sat watching a portable DVD player displaying plane wreckage and bodies strewn all over. It dawned on me that I might be upsetting the passengers around me so I tilted the screen slightly for more privacy. The story was good. Lots of drama. A smoke monster that snatches people and gruesomely kills them.
I told the friend I was visiting that I was enjoying the series and she said,"I watched it for a while, but every episode was the same. 'Aaa, aaa, something's chasing us, run!!'" After a couple of discs I realized that she was right, but I had to know what was next.
Then we started making Jin jokes. "Udders!" "Fish." (pronounced feeesh) A new element refreshed the show with the introduction of the need to press the button to reset the timer every so many minutes, to keep the place from being destroyed. "New" "others" began appearing. We found that people were related to each other like an Arkansas family tree. Somehow, Jin learned English in about 3 months "Lost" time (doodoodeedoodoo). Of course, the new element of time travel may have given him an edge. People kept trying to get off the island, just to return to it of their own volition.
Somewhere in the middle of season 5 (doodoodeedoodoo), I was really tiring of the whole thing. Julie assured me that this was the last season and all would resolve. But this series is like a bad case of cockroaches. Even blowing it up with an H bomb didn't kill it. (Like that song... The cat came back- the very next day.. mmwwaaahahahahahaha)
So, yes, with renewed hope that the series will end, I continue following it. There are now OTHER "others". The smoke monster is still on its murderous rampage and we still don't know why anyone is there.
And today it dawned on me. THE SERIES ITSELF IS THE ISLAND. We are the captives. We keep being duped and deceived and still return for more. When we are tired of the whole thing and just want to go home, it offers just the right thing so that we blow up the escape sub or the freighter. After escaping, we willingly leave LA, get back on a disaster-bound airliner and end up in the same place we've been for 5 years. Lost. (doodoodeedoodoo)
It's like sin- "Takes you farther than you want to go, costs more than you want to pay, keeps you longer than you want to stay."
However, they promise that THIS is the last season. So, who's with me on the island? And why are we here?? doodoodeedoodoo
Friday, February 12, 2010
What's the worst thing that can happen?
I love John 11. The paradox of God in the flesh here is beautiful to me. I have to remind myself that Jesus ate, smiled, had a heart beat, made friends and looked like the guy that does my smog check, or like one of the guys at my church. He didn't glow.
In Jn 11, Jesus's very good friends had very tangible troubles (their brother was sick- and died), and relating to my previous post, I perceive they also had the non-tangible troubles (disappointment in their friend, pained hearts, unfulfilled expectations). While Lazarus was still alive, they send an appeal to their dear Friend, confident that he can solve their problem.
When Jesus received their message, my Bible says,"Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus... therefore... he abode two days still in the same place where he was." (5,6) When Jesus decided it was time to go to his friends' home, he tells his disciples, "plainly, Lazarus is dead. And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, to the intent that you may believe."
The regular humans only saw an "inside-the-box" problem. The box is only what we can see. The box lid is the sky, the bottom is under our feet. Our eternal life is beyond the box, and you can only go there by faith. Jesus's focus is on the eternal, not the temporal.
Jesus goes to the funeral 4 days after the death. He appears to be late. It appears that He didn't attach even customary importance to His friends' devastating event. (I hate with agony when my good intentions are misunderstood for evil.) They sent for Him and waited every moment for His arrival, I'm sure. After all the shared meals, conversations and friendship- He came, but too late.
When Martha hears of His arrival, she runs to Him and meets Him on the road. "Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died." Jesus sends for Mary, and waits for her there, presumably to speak to her alone. She hastes to Him, and falls at His feet. "Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died." Jesus goes to the grave and weeps. The bystanders rightly recognize Jesus's love for his friend and say,"Could not this man, which opened the eyes of the blind, have caused that even this man should not have died?" All these people thought that preventing Lazarus's physical death was the most important thing that could have happened.
When we can only see inside the box, that appears to be paramount. The grief monster had swallowed Jesus's friends alive. In the midst of swirling grief and mourning, misunderstanding and broken hearts, Jesus groans twice. Groaning seems to relate to carrying a heavy burden or a heavy heart. He doesn't groan anywhere else in the gospels. He weeps before the grave.
Jesus allows the hard things in order that the important things may be accomplished. Jesus loved that little family. He loved His disciples. He loved them enough to wait for the grim reaper to take his toll in order that they might believe and glorify God.
"I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, to the intent that you may believe." (15)
"I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?"(25,26)
"Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God" (40)
"Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me. And I knew that thou hearest me always: but because of the people which stand by I said it, that they may believe that thou hast sent me. (41,42)
"Then many of the Jews which came to Mary, and had seen the things which Jesus did, believed on him. " (45)
He did do a miracle for his friends. It was an unimaginable miracle. If you have stood by a dead loved one, you'll know this is true. Jesus always arrives on time. But he was there for a more important purpose than to heal the sick or raise the dead. Physical death just appears inside "the box". His more important agenda was that they might believe. Death isn't the worst thing that can happen.
"I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.
Do you believe this?"
In Jn 11, Jesus's very good friends had very tangible troubles (their brother was sick- and died), and relating to my previous post, I perceive they also had the non-tangible troubles (disappointment in their friend, pained hearts, unfulfilled expectations). While Lazarus was still alive, they send an appeal to their dear Friend, confident that he can solve their problem.
When Jesus received their message, my Bible says,"Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus... therefore... he abode two days still in the same place where he was." (5,6) When Jesus decided it was time to go to his friends' home, he tells his disciples, "plainly, Lazarus is dead. And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, to the intent that you may believe."
The regular humans only saw an "inside-the-box" problem. The box is only what we can see. The box lid is the sky, the bottom is under our feet. Our eternal life is beyond the box, and you can only go there by faith. Jesus's focus is on the eternal, not the temporal.
Jesus goes to the funeral 4 days after the death. He appears to be late. It appears that He didn't attach even customary importance to His friends' devastating event. (I hate with agony when my good intentions are misunderstood for evil.) They sent for Him and waited every moment for His arrival, I'm sure. After all the shared meals, conversations and friendship- He came, but too late.
When Martha hears of His arrival, she runs to Him and meets Him on the road. "Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died." Jesus sends for Mary, and waits for her there, presumably to speak to her alone. She hastes to Him, and falls at His feet. "Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died." Jesus goes to the grave and weeps. The bystanders rightly recognize Jesus's love for his friend and say,"Could not this man, which opened the eyes of the blind, have caused that even this man should not have died?" All these people thought that preventing Lazarus's physical death was the most important thing that could have happened.
When we can only see inside the box, that appears to be paramount. The grief monster had swallowed Jesus's friends alive. In the midst of swirling grief and mourning, misunderstanding and broken hearts, Jesus groans twice. Groaning seems to relate to carrying a heavy burden or a heavy heart. He doesn't groan anywhere else in the gospels. He weeps before the grave.
Jesus allows the hard things in order that the important things may be accomplished. Jesus loved that little family. He loved His disciples. He loved them enough to wait for the grim reaper to take his toll in order that they might believe and glorify God.
"I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, to the intent that you may believe." (15)
"I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?"(25,26)
"Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God" (40)
"Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me. And I knew that thou hearest me always: but because of the people which stand by I said it, that they may believe that thou hast sent me. (41,42)
"Then many of the Jews which came to Mary, and had seen the things which Jesus did, believed on him. " (45)
He did do a miracle for his friends. It was an unimaginable miracle. If you have stood by a dead loved one, you'll know this is true. Jesus always arrives on time. But he was there for a more important purpose than to heal the sick or raise the dead. Physical death just appears inside "the box". His more important agenda was that they might believe. Death isn't the worst thing that can happen.
"I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.
Do you believe this?"
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Normal mothers don't do this.
So, this morning I found myself seated on my royal throne in the family room researching pressure points on the body. I sat squeezing points on my hand and arm and twisting joints trying to produce pain. At one point I declared,"This is great!" and looked up to see J, eating her breakfast with that amused smile she gets. I told her that normal mothers probably don't do this. She smiled bigger and shook her head, no.
BUT I'M HAVING SO MUCH FUN!! I'm glad she understands. I'm so glad God gave me karate. It makes me happy. It's going to be a good class today. Tang Soo!!
BUT I'M HAVING SO MUCH FUN!! I'm glad she understands. I'm so glad God gave me karate. It makes me happy. It's going to be a good class today. Tang Soo!!
Monday, February 8, 2010
So, who cares?
I love our church. Our pastor has the self-control to go through the book of Psalms at a snails pace so that snails like me can reap the benefits. As we've been looking at Psalm 42 over the last 2 weeks my small mind has considered the problem of suffering and the things we call problems.
David had problems. We have problems. Problems lead us to be downcast. Many times when trouble comes my way, it seems so enormous. I can't see around it. I open my eyes to it in the morning and it's the last thing I see at night. David felt like the ocean was swallowing him with waves breaking over his head.
A trouble may be real (a lawsuit, a car accident, CPS showing up at the door with anonymous allegations). In David's case it was enemies pursuing him and threatening him with doom. Sometimes the problem is only in my mind or emotions. It's not an invading army with flame-throwers or the threat of losing my home... My feelings are hurt. My "rights" have been infringed upon. I urgently desire things to go one way and they go another way instead.
Trouble. Is God unfair? David was a man after God's own heart. WDBTHTGP? (Why do bad things happen to good people?) It's apparent to us that BTHTGP. I know that God uses all things to bring Him glory, but the question (WDBTHTGP) makes God look bad whenever someone brings it up. The question bothers people. I usually sound lame when trying to come up with an answer.
But we're also studying Revelation on Sunday night. And more and more I can see that my seemingly big problems are happening to one little person on this enormous planet. But this enormous planet is just a small dot in our enormous galaxy. BUT our enormous galaxy isn't big enough to even see when you consider the size of the known universe. We're so small that you would have to be God to even know that we exist! So my problem is as big as a speck on a speck on a piece of floating dust. And all this is inconsequential in size as it sits in a little container in the eternal landscape that is the throne room of God. The little container holds all of created matter and time... for all planets in all 4 or 5 dimensions that we speculate about (or 11 according to M-theory). Finite. Outside the box, where God sits, is reality and eternity.
So, what is the worst thing that can happen? My seeming injustices are inconsequential. One day we'll die and open our eyes in heaven and it won't matter that the policeman gave me a ticket for something I didn't do, or my house just blew down. Somehow, instead of a feeling of fatalism, the outside of the box gives me hope. But it also makes me think,"So, what do my troubles really matter? It's all so small. Who cares?"
I was riding to church the other day and I thought something that wasn't nice. And I thought, so what does it matter? How could God possibly care that this speck had a bad thought, or a wrong motive?
This God who lives outside the box with an infinite presence doesn't just care about what happens to His little creation, He cares about what I do, and smaller yet, He it matters to Him why I do it. Really? How could one little sin even be noticed in the grand scheme of things? It's because of God's largeness that He can care about the small things.
Though we live on a dust speck, He made us in His image. Amazing. "What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? " He is our constant witness. Good, bad, injustice, triumph, joy or sorrow, faithfulness or failure- He sees. We are not inconsequential. He orders each day for each individual for His purpose. He has agendas that we couldn't even imagine, and concerns that we can't guess. We're small. He made us small. And He lives in my heart. And He does care.
"Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God."
David had problems. We have problems. Problems lead us to be downcast. Many times when trouble comes my way, it seems so enormous. I can't see around it. I open my eyes to it in the morning and it's the last thing I see at night. David felt like the ocean was swallowing him with waves breaking over his head.
A trouble may be real (a lawsuit, a car accident, CPS showing up at the door with anonymous allegations). In David's case it was enemies pursuing him and threatening him with doom. Sometimes the problem is only in my mind or emotions. It's not an invading army with flame-throwers or the threat of losing my home... My feelings are hurt. My "rights" have been infringed upon. I urgently desire things to go one way and they go another way instead.
Trouble. Is God unfair? David was a man after God's own heart. WDBTHTGP? (Why do bad things happen to good people?) It's apparent to us that BTHTGP. I know that God uses all things to bring Him glory, but the question (WDBTHTGP) makes God look bad whenever someone brings it up. The question bothers people. I usually sound lame when trying to come up with an answer.
But we're also studying Revelation on Sunday night. And more and more I can see that my seemingly big problems are happening to one little person on this enormous planet. But this enormous planet is just a small dot in our enormous galaxy. BUT our enormous galaxy isn't big enough to even see when you consider the size of the known universe. We're so small that you would have to be God to even know that we exist! So my problem is as big as a speck on a speck on a piece of floating dust. And all this is inconsequential in size as it sits in a little container in the eternal landscape that is the throne room of God. The little container holds all of created matter and time... for all planets in all 4 or 5 dimensions that we speculate about (or 11 according to M-theory). Finite. Outside the box, where God sits, is reality and eternity.
So, what is the worst thing that can happen? My seeming injustices are inconsequential. One day we'll die and open our eyes in heaven and it won't matter that the policeman gave me a ticket for something I didn't do, or my house just blew down. Somehow, instead of a feeling of fatalism, the outside of the box gives me hope. But it also makes me think,"So, what do my troubles really matter? It's all so small. Who cares?"
I was riding to church the other day and I thought something that wasn't nice. And I thought, so what does it matter? How could God possibly care that this speck had a bad thought, or a wrong motive?
This God who lives outside the box with an infinite presence doesn't just care about what happens to His little creation, He cares about what I do, and smaller yet, He it matters to Him why I do it. Really? How could one little sin even be noticed in the grand scheme of things? It's because of God's largeness that He can care about the small things.
Though we live on a dust speck, He made us in His image. Amazing. "What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? " He is our constant witness. Good, bad, injustice, triumph, joy or sorrow, faithfulness or failure- He sees. We are not inconsequential. He orders each day for each individual for His purpose. He has agendas that we couldn't even imagine, and concerns that we can't guess. We're small. He made us small. And He lives in my heart. And He does care.
"Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God."
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Restored
So I'm a big disappointment.
Reading on in ch 24 Jesus calls his disciples 'O fools and slow of heart'... That would be some type of declaration of disappointment. Surely we disappoint God too.
The thing that stands out today is that, after the resurrection, Jesus met one-on-one with Peter before he appeared to the rest of the apostles(v. 34, I Co 5:5).
Somewhere near the top of the agenda, after the big denial and disappointment... Jesus restored the broken Peter. I stumble. I fall into sin. I disobey. God's love for me doesn't depend upon my performance.
I love that about God.
Reading on in ch 24 Jesus calls his disciples 'O fools and slow of heart'... That would be some type of declaration of disappointment. Surely we disappoint God too.
The thing that stands out today is that, after the resurrection, Jesus met one-on-one with Peter before he appeared to the rest of the apostles(v. 34, I Co 5:5).
Somewhere near the top of the agenda, after the big denial and disappointment... Jesus restored the broken Peter. I stumble. I fall into sin. I disobey. God's love for me doesn't depend upon my performance.
I love that about God.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
God knows
Okay, so I still don't have the short blog thing down. But I think I have an answer to the puzzle of who is more disappointed when we sin.
Doing my Bible reading in Luke, I came to chapter 22. The disciples had the last supper with the Lord. It's interesting to put the last supper accounts together to get a bigger picture of the table conversation, especially if you add the verses from John. Then, Satan had previously entered into Judas, and Judas went to the priests. Did Satan also come to the Last Supper inside Judas, like the Greeks at Troy? Odd guest. But I stray, and that's what makes for long blogs.
Anyway, Jesus tells them some important stuff... like when He informs Peter that Satan has requested to sift him like wheat... Scary stuff. Bad temptation coming your way, Peter. Very bad times. And Jesus had spent time praying just for Peter that his faith wouldn't fail. He then instructs Peter that when he "returns" (implying that Peter would turn from Christ), that he should "strengthen his brothers." Peter replies with his good intentions. 'If you get arrested. If you get crucified, Lord, you won't be alone because I'll be right there beside you.'
Jesus replies: "I tell thee, Peter, the cock shall not crow this day, before that thou shalt thrice deny that thou knowest me." That's just a few hours away. I believe Peter had that small voice inside his head saying, 'I don't know about that. I don't think you understand how committed I am.' Commitment is so much easier when you're sitting across the table from Jesus in the upper room.
Then came the small trial in the garden (Can't you just stay awake and pray?). Next came the arrest, when everybody ran away. Bigger test, granted. Wow, missed that part of my good intentions. Then he had the chance to identify with Christ, as he claimed he would, 3 times in the High Priest's hall. Instead, he goes the other way, strongly stating to everybody that he doesn't even know the man.
"And the Lord turned and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice." They locked eyes. Jesus knew. Ouch.
"And Peter went out, and wept bitterly."
Peter thought he was better than that. Granted, he didn't have an indwelling Holy Spirit yet. But he had spent years with Jesus, and Jesus was his best friend and Master. God already knew he would deny. Peter thought he was better than that. And so do I.
Doing my Bible reading in Luke, I came to chapter 22. The disciples had the last supper with the Lord. It's interesting to put the last supper accounts together to get a bigger picture of the table conversation, especially if you add the verses from John. Then, Satan had previously entered into Judas, and Judas went to the priests. Did Satan also come to the Last Supper inside Judas, like the Greeks at Troy? Odd guest. But I stray, and that's what makes for long blogs.
Anyway, Jesus tells them some important stuff... like when He informs Peter that Satan has requested to sift him like wheat... Scary stuff. Bad temptation coming your way, Peter. Very bad times. And Jesus had spent time praying just for Peter that his faith wouldn't fail. He then instructs Peter that when he "returns" (implying that Peter would turn from Christ), that he should "strengthen his brothers." Peter replies with his good intentions. 'If you get arrested. If you get crucified, Lord, you won't be alone because I'll be right there beside you.'
Jesus replies: "I tell thee, Peter, the cock shall not crow this day, before that thou shalt thrice deny that thou knowest me." That's just a few hours away. I believe Peter had that small voice inside his head saying, 'I don't know about that. I don't think you understand how committed I am.' Commitment is so much easier when you're sitting across the table from Jesus in the upper room.
Then came the small trial in the garden (Can't you just stay awake and pray?). Next came the arrest, when everybody ran away. Bigger test, granted. Wow, missed that part of my good intentions. Then he had the chance to identify with Christ, as he claimed he would, 3 times in the High Priest's hall. Instead, he goes the other way, strongly stating to everybody that he doesn't even know the man.
"And the Lord turned and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice." They locked eyes. Jesus knew. Ouch.
"And Peter went out, and wept bitterly."
Peter thought he was better than that. Granted, he didn't have an indwelling Holy Spirit yet. But he had spent years with Jesus, and Jesus was his best friend and Master. God already knew he would deny. Peter thought he was better than that. And so do I.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
A time to gain, a time to lose, and sometimes, a time to gain again
All good gifts come from God. Just because you have them doesn't mean they belong to you, or that you'll keep them. That's Biblical. The gifts may be possessions. A roof over our head. Family. Friends. A job. Toys. Happiness. Health. America is an interesting place where we take things for granted. Really, it is just human nature to receive these gifts and forget the giver.
So, in America, we set aside a day to help us remember the God who has taken notice of us individually, and blessed us with all things. Incredible. He bends down and takes notice of you. And loves you. And blesses you.
Sometimes God removes the gift. Most times that precipitates a time of complaining in me. I can't find a season of complaining in Ecclesiastes. That's not His design. (A time to gain. A time to lose. A time to enjoy. A time to kvetch...) Strangely, I'm finding the losses bringing me to a spirit of thanksgiving this year. I know that spirit is also a blessing. A spirit of thanksgiving brings me joy. Contrast that with the carnal spirit of bitterness that comes so naturally to me.
Bob has lost some earning opportunities this year. But God has so richly blessed us with his job at J&M, and the strength to work. How often have I been bitter over God's blessing? I am so thankful God has provided our family the things we have enjoyed (a house decorated with Christmas lights each year, happy memories, a homeschool haven, and a place to laugh with friends and enjoy celebrations) through the means of this sometimes stressful, greasy, dirty job. Thank you, God. It is a good gift.
We have lost many friends and relatives this season. My kids are all starting to comment that the last pair of socks that Mona gave them are wearing out. I'm so grateful for the friendship and good memories God gave me over so many years through Mona. And Don. And Nancy. And the others. I felt loved and enjoyed laughs. I became wiser and learned how to be a friend. And I lost touch with them often. Didn't go visit as many times as I wish I had. But the minutes spent with each of them were blessed. They were each good gifts. And God didn't owe me anything, but kindly gave me friendship through them. Thank you God.
When we went to Larry's funeral I realized that the last frenzied 20 years were a gift that I was too busy to see. Memories of a season passed... Spankings doled out. One on one time pulling nits from my children's hair, sitting in a steamy bathroom in the middle of the night with a wheezer, date days at Denny's... The tooth fairy, piano recitals, kneeling on the floor to hear each child ask Christ into their heart. "Big time", construction paper gifts and proud graduation days. I reminisced with a friend yesterday, how that I always wanted a career and she always wanted a family. Life went the opposite way, with each of us getting the thing we didn't set our sights on. I discounted the gift God has given me over the past 30 years: my life as God designed it. He kindly (not angrily, as I would have done) turned me around to look backward this year and I saw the incredible beauty of His gift. Season passed. Gift complete. A beautiful generous gift. Thank you, God.
And then, sometimes God gives, takes away, and then re-gifts. Through Facebook I have gotten in touch with precious people who were friends and church family. They moved away. Most of them I knew as young folks, and now I get to enjoy an adult friendship with them. This has been an amazing and unexpected gift. Added bonus... What a joy to meet Kathy and Marla's spouses and kids. This has brought me great joy and blessing. Thank you, God.
Lastly, over the past 3 or 4 years I've been plagued with odd afflictions due to age. The biggest loss was my mind (though, some would argue that my looks took a bigger hit as my mind wasn't that sharp to begin with). By this time I had just come to accept the fact that I can't remember squat and most of the time I'm slightly to moderately confused. You don't realize how rational your mind is until it ceases operation. A few weeks ago I just woke up feeling good. Better than usual. Hmmmm. I was not confused. Able to handle a change in plan, remember how to get home from the dentist, know what freeway I am currently on, plan my day in advance. This is a major gift. I feel like myself again and it makes me so happy. Thank you, God.
Then the cherry on top. I'd also lost my sense of smell and taste. From having no sense of smell, to the variety of phantom smells and tastes I've experienced over the last few years, I'd just accepted the fact that growing old means that things you enjoyed just leave. There will be new things to enjoy in heaven. Some people have real problems... However, unexpectedly, I have the ability to smell flowers, pumpkin pie and BO. I tasted Elisabeth's delicious Thanksgiving turkey this year. These small things make life so pleasant. I'm so grateful.
I walked through a parking lot at a hospital this week. As I passed a lady in the crosswalk, she said, "Smell the roses." When I got to the corner there was a fragrant rose garden. I'd almost forgotten what that pleasure is like. God is so kind.
That's how our God is. He gives. He takes away. But He's all good, all the time. Thank you, God.
So, in America, we set aside a day to help us remember the God who has taken notice of us individually, and blessed us with all things. Incredible. He bends down and takes notice of you. And loves you. And blesses you.
Sometimes God removes the gift. Most times that precipitates a time of complaining in me. I can't find a season of complaining in Ecclesiastes. That's not His design. (A time to gain. A time to lose. A time to enjoy. A time to kvetch...) Strangely, I'm finding the losses bringing me to a spirit of thanksgiving this year. I know that spirit is also a blessing. A spirit of thanksgiving brings me joy. Contrast that with the carnal spirit of bitterness that comes so naturally to me.
Bob has lost some earning opportunities this year. But God has so richly blessed us with his job at J&M, and the strength to work. How often have I been bitter over God's blessing? I am so thankful God has provided our family the things we have enjoyed (a house decorated with Christmas lights each year, happy memories, a homeschool haven, and a place to laugh with friends and enjoy celebrations) through the means of this sometimes stressful, greasy, dirty job. Thank you, God. It is a good gift.
We have lost many friends and relatives this season. My kids are all starting to comment that the last pair of socks that Mona gave them are wearing out. I'm so grateful for the friendship and good memories God gave me over so many years through Mona. And Don. And Nancy. And the others. I felt loved and enjoyed laughs. I became wiser and learned how to be a friend. And I lost touch with them often. Didn't go visit as many times as I wish I had. But the minutes spent with each of them were blessed. They were each good gifts. And God didn't owe me anything, but kindly gave me friendship through them. Thank you God.
When we went to Larry's funeral I realized that the last frenzied 20 years were a gift that I was too busy to see. Memories of a season passed... Spankings doled out. One on one time pulling nits from my children's hair, sitting in a steamy bathroom in the middle of the night with a wheezer, date days at Denny's... The tooth fairy, piano recitals, kneeling on the floor to hear each child ask Christ into their heart. "Big time", construction paper gifts and proud graduation days. I reminisced with a friend yesterday, how that I always wanted a career and she always wanted a family. Life went the opposite way, with each of us getting the thing we didn't set our sights on. I discounted the gift God has given me over the past 30 years: my life as God designed it. He kindly (not angrily, as I would have done) turned me around to look backward this year and I saw the incredible beauty of His gift. Season passed. Gift complete. A beautiful generous gift. Thank you, God.
And then, sometimes God gives, takes away, and then re-gifts. Through Facebook I have gotten in touch with precious people who were friends and church family. They moved away. Most of them I knew as young folks, and now I get to enjoy an adult friendship with them. This has been an amazing and unexpected gift. Added bonus... What a joy to meet Kathy and Marla's spouses and kids. This has brought me great joy and blessing. Thank you, God.
Lastly, over the past 3 or 4 years I've been plagued with odd afflictions due to age. The biggest loss was my mind (though, some would argue that my looks took a bigger hit as my mind wasn't that sharp to begin with). By this time I had just come to accept the fact that I can't remember squat and most of the time I'm slightly to moderately confused. You don't realize how rational your mind is until it ceases operation. A few weeks ago I just woke up feeling good. Better than usual. Hmmmm. I was not confused. Able to handle a change in plan, remember how to get home from the dentist, know what freeway I am currently on, plan my day in advance. This is a major gift. I feel like myself again and it makes me so happy. Thank you, God.
Then the cherry on top. I'd also lost my sense of smell and taste. From having no sense of smell, to the variety of phantom smells and tastes I've experienced over the last few years, I'd just accepted the fact that growing old means that things you enjoyed just leave. There will be new things to enjoy in heaven. Some people have real problems... However, unexpectedly, I have the ability to smell flowers, pumpkin pie and BO. I tasted Elisabeth's delicious Thanksgiving turkey this year. These small things make life so pleasant. I'm so grateful.
I walked through a parking lot at a hospital this week. As I passed a lady in the crosswalk, she said, "Smell the roses." When I got to the corner there was a fragrant rose garden. I'd almost forgotten what that pleasure is like. God is so kind.
That's how our God is. He gives. He takes away. But He's all good, all the time. Thank you, God.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The Answer Is Worship
The answer is worship.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZfsxydxEXA
The More I Seek You (by Zach Neese)
The more I seek you
The more I find you
The more I find you
The more I love you
I want to sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand
Lay back against you and breathe
Feel your heart beat
This love is so deep
It's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace
It's overwhelming
Thank you, Jesus.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZfsxydxEXA
The More I Seek You (by Zach Neese)
The more I seek you
The more I find you
The more I find you
The more I love you
I want to sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand
Lay back against you and breathe
Feel your heart beat
This love is so deep
It's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace
It's overwhelming
Thank you, Jesus.
Monday, October 19, 2009
The puzzle of disappointment
I am creating my own weather today, and I am under it. This makes no scientific sense. I wonder if I disappoint God more than I disappoint myself, since I have an indwelling Holy Spirit and have potential to do so much better. Or do I disappoint God less than I disappoint myself, since I expect myself to do better that He does. He knows my nature better than I do. One way or the other, it's disappointing.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Playing favorites no more.
I started blogging with such enthusiasm last year, electronically trying to fulfill what my social life was lacking. I'm perfectly happy to socialize electronically, which would mean that I AM social. Thank heavens, I was worried. I truly enjoy seeing what is happening in everyone's life. It's those get-togethers that I have a little trouble with. I enjoy reading everyone else's blog to see what's up and pray for you all. But, I'm ashamed to admit it. Facebook has become my favorite child. And that's just wrong. (But I can see your photos on Facebook..)
However, now realizing that my blog doesn't have to be a novel each time, I'll tell about the blessings of my summer.
Blessing: Having all my kids together. When I was younger, I prayed that God would give me a "family" and He has given me abundantly above what I could imagine. (Not just in numbers..) They all love each other as family should. They go out to sibling breakfast on Saturday mornings, which blesses my heart because they love each other and are friends. I'm not ashamed of any of them, or of what they are doing. (I said this because saying "proud" sounds so "motherish" and trite.)
Blessing: Amber Ridley came home with Grace in May, on her way to PNG for a summer mission trip. This lovely young lady blessed us with her sweet loving spirit and sense of humor. She was immediately adopted. It was a huge blessing to pick her up at LAX on her return trip and to visit with her during her 12 hour lay-over. The blessings from her mission trip were just spilling over (she had been awake for a few days running, so she was a bit delirious) and it was a joy to visit with her and hear what our wonderful God is doing in her life and in PNG.
Blessing: My lovely husband gave me a well needed vacation from my mom's shenanigans. He took her to the hospital last spring, when she wouldn't call 911 as I insisted. No she needed me to take her to urgent care or she'd take a taxi. "Fine then. You can take a taxi or call 911, because you need an ambulance and a trip to the ER." I know it sounds cold, but she will never consent to do what I think is best for her, and I won't transport her in my car again if I feel she will probably keel over! Bob couldn't let her take a taxi. Bobs are that way. (This is why I'm amazed that God granted me a lovely family... I'm so undeserving) Well, he spent his night with her in urgent care, and then, as always, after hours of tests and observation, they sent her by ambulance to the ER. After their bonding experience it was like the attachment implied when you feed a stray cat.. You are obligated to keep it up. So he took stuff to her in the hospital. He helped me feed the cats. He brought her home from the convalescent home. He answered all her crazy calls and did all the interacting with her over the summer, giving me a well needed vacation. It is so taxing to argue with her over everything, and to hear how she needs me to be more than I am. Now he's burned out and I'm refreshed, so I'll take the job back. (See Elisabeth's blog...) This was a huge blessing.
Well, I'm going to play at Trinity Lutheran's library now. (Another blessing) So, I will continue blogging my blessings later. In a very small Ben Bailey's words," Our God IS an awesome guy!" God was also good to give us Ben Bailey... another blessing. They're everywhere I look.
And may He bless you with His presence today.
However, now realizing that my blog doesn't have to be a novel each time, I'll tell about the blessings of my summer.
Blessing: Having all my kids together. When I was younger, I prayed that God would give me a "family" and He has given me abundantly above what I could imagine. (Not just in numbers..) They all love each other as family should. They go out to sibling breakfast on Saturday mornings, which blesses my heart because they love each other and are friends. I'm not ashamed of any of them, or of what they are doing. (I said this because saying "proud" sounds so "motherish" and trite.)
Blessing: Amber Ridley came home with Grace in May, on her way to PNG for a summer mission trip. This lovely young lady blessed us with her sweet loving spirit and sense of humor. She was immediately adopted. It was a huge blessing to pick her up at LAX on her return trip and to visit with her during her 12 hour lay-over. The blessings from her mission trip were just spilling over (she had been awake for a few days running, so she was a bit delirious) and it was a joy to visit with her and hear what our wonderful God is doing in her life and in PNG.
Blessing: My lovely husband gave me a well needed vacation from my mom's shenanigans. He took her to the hospital last spring, when she wouldn't call 911 as I insisted. No she needed me to take her to urgent care or she'd take a taxi. "Fine then. You can take a taxi or call 911, because you need an ambulance and a trip to the ER." I know it sounds cold, but she will never consent to do what I think is best for her, and I won't transport her in my car again if I feel she will probably keel over! Bob couldn't let her take a taxi. Bobs are that way. (This is why I'm amazed that God granted me a lovely family... I'm so undeserving) Well, he spent his night with her in urgent care, and then, as always, after hours of tests and observation, they sent her by ambulance to the ER. After their bonding experience it was like the attachment implied when you feed a stray cat.. You are obligated to keep it up. So he took stuff to her in the hospital. He helped me feed the cats. He brought her home from the convalescent home. He answered all her crazy calls and did all the interacting with her over the summer, giving me a well needed vacation. It is so taxing to argue with her over everything, and to hear how she needs me to be more than I am. Now he's burned out and I'm refreshed, so I'll take the job back. (See Elisabeth's blog...) This was a huge blessing.
Well, I'm going to play at Trinity Lutheran's library now. (Another blessing) So, I will continue blogging my blessings later. In a very small Ben Bailey's words," Our God IS an awesome guy!" God was also good to give us Ben Bailey... another blessing. They're everywhere I look.
And may He bless you with His presence today.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
I'm back... I hope. I think it unwise to make such a sweeping announcement without qualification. That just seems to invite trouble. Instead of blogging my own thoughts today, I would like to invite you to read my friend Helen's blog. She was selected by the Susan B. Komen Foundation and UCLA to blog about her breast cancer experience. Her scriptural perspective and deep faith blessed me as I read her blog today, and I think her words would be helpful, no matter what type of difficulty we may be experiencing. Anyway, check out her site. It will be worth your time. Her web address is http://hevans.projectconnectonline.com/. This is her latest post:
Truth must be absolute. To withstand Hitler’s propaganda, my mom understood that truth was not relative; it did not change with people or circumstances. Truth came from a higher source - that is God. Colosians 2:8 tells us “See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ.” Mom saw through Hitler’s deceptive words and chose to obey a higher truth - one based on God’s absolute word. When I received my cancer diagnosis, I too had to focus on truth. I could not be taken captive by my deceptive feelings that wanted to panic - that wanted to blame. Instead, I focused on solid truth found in the Bible. Specifically, I knew that God had numbered my days, and nothing, including cancer, would ever cheat me from one day of my life that God had given me. I also knew that humans live very transitory lives and that every one of us must face death at some point. Are we ready? This is a question that every one of us must answer. We do not need to think this question is relative or unanswerable since God has already given us the truth - In John 14:6, Jesus said, ”I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” God bless you as you seek truth.
Truth must be absolute. To withstand Hitler’s propaganda, my mom understood that truth was not relative; it did not change with people or circumstances. Truth came from a higher source - that is God. Colosians 2:8 tells us “See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ.” Mom saw through Hitler’s deceptive words and chose to obey a higher truth - one based on God’s absolute word. When I received my cancer diagnosis, I too had to focus on truth. I could not be taken captive by my deceptive feelings that wanted to panic - that wanted to blame. Instead, I focused on solid truth found in the Bible. Specifically, I knew that God had numbered my days, and nothing, including cancer, would ever cheat me from one day of my life that God had given me. I also knew that humans live very transitory lives and that every one of us must face death at some point. Are we ready? This is a question that every one of us must answer. We do not need to think this question is relative or unanswerable since God has already given us the truth - In John 14:6, Jesus said, ”I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” God bless you as you seek truth.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Never-ending Humiliation
So, is there a limit to the number of times you can truly humiliate yourself in one month? Is that number 3? I hope so. Sometimes I wonder if I need new meds.
1. There was the humiliating karate test. That was a good one.
2. Then, there was the time at the Mother's Day banquet, a week ago, when I forgot how to end the song. It was the easiest song we had. My mind, when not occupied, apparently defaults to the blank slate we were supposed to be born with. There I was... blank slate. But, unfortunately, my hands kept moving. Making chords. The nice keybordist looked at me like, "And where are you going??" That's when I first realized that I was out of control. Then the singers looked at me as if to say, "Are you two playing the same song?" There was no way to play the same song since I was playing chords in no particular order. Yep. There was terror in their eyes as I drove the Praise Bus off the cliff. That was fun.
3. Then, there was this time, yesterday, when I took J and her friend to see X-men. I went to the ladies' room while they got our seats. I hurried into the theater and for no particular reason, decided not to move J's purse and plop down next to her. It's nice to have a place off the floor to put your purse, so I just dropped my purse in the seat between us along with hers.
Then the previews started. There are some great, action-packed movies coming up. Those of you who go to movies with me know that I give thumbs up or down, and make an announcement at the end of each preview (that looks good... no, not going to see that one). If something looks particularly good, I even pump my arm and say, "Oh, yeah! Definitely."
The movie started. I sprawled out in my seat. Slumped. Legs at different angles. Knocked my drink lid on the floor. Looked around for it. Made comments about being a dork. Made comments at the funny parts of the movie. Generally made comments. I sing in public restrooms. There is no end to my vocalizations. The girls were silent, really intently watching the movie. I sprawled some more. Kind of wallowed.
About half way through the movie, J's friend leaned forward, elbows on knees. I never noticed how masculine Gabriella looks. You know, when we walked in to the theater she had curly hair. Yes, the hair was the real give away. This was definitely A MAN. Then I focus on the person next to me. Nope. It was not my baby. It was someone else's baby... Probably the guy sitting next to her.
Then I began to laugh... quietly. You know how that shakes your seat. It shakes quite a few seats. I envisioned what it would have been like if I had grabbed her purse and plopped down in the seat next to her! More laughter.
Now what was I supposed to do?? Crane my neck and look around for my party? Surely they don't want to own me by now. So, I sat up and tried to behave like a grown-up.
Julie just thought I wanted to let her and G sit by themselves... SO I JOINED A COUPLE ON THEIR DATE????
Yep. That was terrific.
I hope the number is 3.
1. There was the humiliating karate test. That was a good one.
2. Then, there was the time at the Mother's Day banquet, a week ago, when I forgot how to end the song. It was the easiest song we had. My mind, when not occupied, apparently defaults to the blank slate we were supposed to be born with. There I was... blank slate. But, unfortunately, my hands kept moving. Making chords. The nice keybordist looked at me like, "And where are you going??" That's when I first realized that I was out of control. Then the singers looked at me as if to say, "Are you two playing the same song?" There was no way to play the same song since I was playing chords in no particular order. Yep. There was terror in their eyes as I drove the Praise Bus off the cliff. That was fun.
3. Then, there was this time, yesterday, when I took J and her friend to see X-men. I went to the ladies' room while they got our seats. I hurried into the theater and for no particular reason, decided not to move J's purse and plop down next to her. It's nice to have a place off the floor to put your purse, so I just dropped my purse in the seat between us along with hers.
Then the previews started. There are some great, action-packed movies coming up. Those of you who go to movies with me know that I give thumbs up or down, and make an announcement at the end of each preview (that looks good... no, not going to see that one). If something looks particularly good, I even pump my arm and say, "Oh, yeah! Definitely."
The movie started. I sprawled out in my seat. Slumped. Legs at different angles. Knocked my drink lid on the floor. Looked around for it. Made comments about being a dork. Made comments at the funny parts of the movie. Generally made comments. I sing in public restrooms. There is no end to my vocalizations. The girls were silent, really intently watching the movie. I sprawled some more. Kind of wallowed.
About half way through the movie, J's friend leaned forward, elbows on knees. I never noticed how masculine Gabriella looks. You know, when we walked in to the theater she had curly hair. Yes, the hair was the real give away. This was definitely A MAN. Then I focus on the person next to me. Nope. It was not my baby. It was someone else's baby... Probably the guy sitting next to her.
Then I began to laugh... quietly. You know how that shakes your seat. It shakes quite a few seats. I envisioned what it would have been like if I had grabbed her purse and plopped down in the seat next to her! More laughter.
Now what was I supposed to do?? Crane my neck and look around for my party? Surely they don't want to own me by now. So, I sat up and tried to behave like a grown-up.
Julie just thought I wanted to let her and G sit by themselves... SO I JOINED A COUPLE ON THEIR DATE????
Yep. That was terrific.
I hope the number is 3.
Monday, April 27, 2009
긍지는 가을의 앞에 파괴와 거만한 정신의 앞에 간다.
긍지는 가을의 앞에 파괴와 거만한 정신의 앞에 간다. This is, "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." The Korean version. Or as Nacho would say it, "Why have you given me the desire to wrestle and then made me such a stinky warrior? Have I focused too much on my boots, and on my fame and my stretchy pants?" Actually, I believe it was a set-up.
Okay, karate test time. I never feel ready. The Grandmaster always tells me that of course I'm ready. And I always flub up. But this was supreme.
I reviewed my self-defense tactics, both versions. I reviewed my forms. I reviewed my terms and history. I reviewed my tactical approach to sparring, which I always stink at since we never do it in morning class. (My sparring motto is: "old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill"- usually that works...) I've taken all meds and puffed. I'm good to go.
We arrive and line up by rank on the floor. The Gm announces that I am the high-ranking belt, which makes me proud. THE SET-UP! I'm in the high belt position, front right with the rest of the class behind me. This should work to my advantage, allowing me to set the pace to postpone an asthma attack. Good deal.
About 2 feet in front of me are 3 stacks of boards. 2 feet behind me is a green belt. 2 feet to my right is a line of seated students who are not testing. I feel like I'm in a telephone booth. He gives the command to start forms, and I knock some of the boards cattywhompus. Then, on turning in my first form, I find that all the little buggers behind me have raced off at 80 mph and are somewhere five steps ahead of us. The whole front line is now in chaos and Mrs. Bigbelt steps out. “What happened?” “Confused, sir.” Brilliant.
I'm not sure I finished any form correctly or completely, as the rest of the time seemed like "a nightmare covered in molasses." That's how Scott Hamilton described Nicole Bobek's Olympic performance to "Zorba the Greek" when she skated on her butt for a good part of the time. She gave the term sit-spin a whole new meaning. She was given the nickname Boom-boom Bobek by a local news commentator. The Gm sidelines us in disgust and then invites the purple and white belts to show us up. (Summon your eagle powers!)
Time for board breaks. He asks 2 people to hold my board over my head and horizontally. Break with a jump-front-snap kick. Obviously he forgot the moratorium he placed on old people doing aerial moves, so obviously I haven't done this in a while. I start jumping and snapping to practice, and he says, "No, run and then kick." My brain becomes busy collecting images of my life to flash before my eyes, so I can’t think out how to pace it off. I just walk up to it, jump, kick, and then from a prone position on the floor I can see that, yes, the board is broken. Come what may, it needed to break or I would have willed myself to die on the carpet. Just beam me up now.
Next up: No touch sparring with a lovely young lady... I last for almost the whole time before the asthma kicks in. I step out yet again, and he assigns some little kid to take my place. There I am on the sideline again, watching.
Now the finale! Put on your sparring gear! As if I’m not enough of a freak already. I just bought new sparring stuff, because my old chest protector had a place for boobs. Wonderwoman meets Madonna. The new chest protector pads all around (bulky) and laces up in back like Scarlett O'Hara's corset. On goes the headgear with mask and shin/foot protectors. (Everyone else is wearing just a lightweight flat front affair and no facemask.) I have never worn this stuff once, let alone sparred in it. As I walk from the back of the room to the floor I'm humming Darth Vader's theme from Star Wars. The older people chuckle. I'm sure everyone wants to be me. And yes, this was public humiliation.
I stand in front of my reflection in the mirror and wait. Darth Vader meets Frosty the Snowman. Plump. What am I doin’ here? "Eagle powers, come to me. Please!!" I bow to my partner, a 13-year-old sweetie of a girl, tall and stout. The Gm shouts and she starts pummeling me like Smokin' Joe Frazier. She beat the stuffin’ outa me. Gm finally stops her to remind her only 30% power to the body and 10-15 to the head. “Have some respect!” he says. “For the elderly,” I finish in my head. I finally got some licks in but I felt like I was in a sumo suit. (Those eggs were a lie!)
This is the night that would never end. So, to those of you who were kind enough to pray for me, thanks. I have truly tasted humiliation. And I didn't even wear my stretchy pants.
Okay, karate test time. I never feel ready. The Grandmaster always tells me that of course I'm ready. And I always flub up. But this was supreme.
I reviewed my self-defense tactics, both versions. I reviewed my forms. I reviewed my terms and history. I reviewed my tactical approach to sparring, which I always stink at since we never do it in morning class. (My sparring motto is: "old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill"- usually that works...) I've taken all meds and puffed. I'm good to go.
We arrive and line up by rank on the floor. The Gm announces that I am the high-ranking belt, which makes me proud. THE SET-UP! I'm in the high belt position, front right with the rest of the class behind me. This should work to my advantage, allowing me to set the pace to postpone an asthma attack. Good deal.
About 2 feet in front of me are 3 stacks of boards. 2 feet behind me is a green belt. 2 feet to my right is a line of seated students who are not testing. I feel like I'm in a telephone booth. He gives the command to start forms, and I knock some of the boards cattywhompus. Then, on turning in my first form, I find that all the little buggers behind me have raced off at 80 mph and are somewhere five steps ahead of us. The whole front line is now in chaos and Mrs. Bigbelt steps out. “What happened?” “Confused, sir.” Brilliant.
I'm not sure I finished any form correctly or completely, as the rest of the time seemed like "a nightmare covered in molasses." That's how Scott Hamilton described Nicole Bobek's Olympic performance to "Zorba the Greek" when she skated on her butt for a good part of the time. She gave the term sit-spin a whole new meaning. She was given the nickname Boom-boom Bobek by a local news commentator. The Gm sidelines us in disgust and then invites the purple and white belts to show us up. (Summon your eagle powers!)
Time for board breaks. He asks 2 people to hold my board over my head and horizontally. Break with a jump-front-snap kick. Obviously he forgot the moratorium he placed on old people doing aerial moves, so obviously I haven't done this in a while. I start jumping and snapping to practice, and he says, "No, run and then kick." My brain becomes busy collecting images of my life to flash before my eyes, so I can’t think out how to pace it off. I just walk up to it, jump, kick, and then from a prone position on the floor I can see that, yes, the board is broken. Come what may, it needed to break or I would have willed myself to die on the carpet. Just beam me up now.
Next up: No touch sparring with a lovely young lady... I last for almost the whole time before the asthma kicks in. I step out yet again, and he assigns some little kid to take my place. There I am on the sideline again, watching.
Now the finale! Put on your sparring gear! As if I’m not enough of a freak already. I just bought new sparring stuff, because my old chest protector had a place for boobs. Wonderwoman meets Madonna. The new chest protector pads all around (bulky) and laces up in back like Scarlett O'Hara's corset. On goes the headgear with mask and shin/foot protectors. (Everyone else is wearing just a lightweight flat front affair and no facemask.) I have never worn this stuff once, let alone sparred in it. As I walk from the back of the room to the floor I'm humming Darth Vader's theme from Star Wars. The older people chuckle. I'm sure everyone wants to be me. And yes, this was public humiliation.
I stand in front of my reflection in the mirror and wait. Darth Vader meets Frosty the Snowman. Plump. What am I doin’ here? "Eagle powers, come to me. Please!!" I bow to my partner, a 13-year-old sweetie of a girl, tall and stout. The Gm shouts and she starts pummeling me like Smokin' Joe Frazier. She beat the stuffin’ outa me. Gm finally stops her to remind her only 30% power to the body and 10-15 to the head. “Have some respect!” he says. “For the elderly,” I finish in my head. I finally got some licks in but I felt like I was in a sumo suit. (Those eggs were a lie!)
This is the night that would never end. So, to those of you who were kind enough to pray for me, thanks. I have truly tasted humiliation. And I didn't even wear my stretchy pants.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
At home, outside the box
Wow. What a sad season. So many people have died over the last few weeks that it's mind boggling. You never know what a day will bring. Our eyes tell us that this is all there is. Strangely, what we see is just a fleeting speck of reality. The real and everlasting life is outside the box. I'm so glad Jesus told us what's outside the box, or the thought of death would be terrifying. But, that is where home is. Today we celebrated the "home-going" of Larry Walker.
I've thought about the Walkers. Wanted to e-mail Tina when I found out that Larry was really declining. I just didn't do it. So often I pass up opportunities to show love until it's too late.
Watching their slide show today reminded me of a season that has passed. School functions. Piano recitals. Toothless smiles. Awards ceremonies. The wonderful "patriotic programs". Gethsemane Baptist introduced us to a wonderful group of people that we just don't see any more, but who were such a blessing to our family.
Larry and Tina were the first guests that we entertained in our home on the North side. Elisabeth and Lauren were about 7. We ate spaghetti and Larry told stories that had us in stitches.
I'm sad tonight that Tina will be missing her best friend, and when the girls go back home the empty spot will be so bleak. Larry was such a blessing to so many people that there is a multitude who will be feeling the loss for some time to come.
And I guess I'm grieving tonight for a season passed. What a joyful season it was. I don't suppose there'll be seasons in heaven. Time only functions in the box. It was a gift. The next season will be a joyful gift also. Eventually, will come the ultimate gift- a home in heaven where Jesus is the light, and we will have a reunion with those who are already home.
I'm kind of homesick for a country
To which I've never been before.
No sad goodbyes will there be spoken
For time won't matter anymore.
Beulah Land, I'm longing for you
And some day on thee I'll stand.
There my home shall be eternal.
Beulah Land -- Sweet Beulah Land
I'm looking now across the river
Where my faith will end in sight.
There's just a few more days to labor.
Then I will take my heavenly flight.
Beulah Land, I'm longing for you
And some day on thee I'll stand.
There my home shall be eternal.
Beulah Land -- Sweet Beulah Land
I've thought about the Walkers. Wanted to e-mail Tina when I found out that Larry was really declining. I just didn't do it. So often I pass up opportunities to show love until it's too late.
Watching their slide show today reminded me of a season that has passed. School functions. Piano recitals. Toothless smiles. Awards ceremonies. The wonderful "patriotic programs". Gethsemane Baptist introduced us to a wonderful group of people that we just don't see any more, but who were such a blessing to our family.
Larry and Tina were the first guests that we entertained in our home on the North side. Elisabeth and Lauren were about 7. We ate spaghetti and Larry told stories that had us in stitches.
I'm sad tonight that Tina will be missing her best friend, and when the girls go back home the empty spot will be so bleak. Larry was such a blessing to so many people that there is a multitude who will be feeling the loss for some time to come.
And I guess I'm grieving tonight for a season passed. What a joyful season it was. I don't suppose there'll be seasons in heaven. Time only functions in the box. It was a gift. The next season will be a joyful gift also. Eventually, will come the ultimate gift- a home in heaven where Jesus is the light, and we will have a reunion with those who are already home.
I'm kind of homesick for a country
To which I've never been before.
No sad goodbyes will there be spoken
For time won't matter anymore.
Beulah Land, I'm longing for you
And some day on thee I'll stand.
There my home shall be eternal.
Beulah Land -- Sweet Beulah Land
I'm looking now across the river
Where my faith will end in sight.
There's just a few more days to labor.
Then I will take my heavenly flight.
Beulah Land, I'm longing for you
And some day on thee I'll stand.
There my home shall be eternal.
Beulah Land -- Sweet Beulah Land
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Out of the closet
Now it's time for true confessions. I'm a Thespian. This may sound bad, but it's time to come out of the closet. In high school I was inducted into the International Thespian Society, an organization to promote and honor those who excel in theater arts. I know. You can throw a tomato at me .
The whole idea of acting a part is not just to memorize lines and say them at the right time- you need to say the lines as though they are your thoughts.
Years after high school, while doing my quite time at home, it dawned on me. I have memorized scripts that are larger than many sections of scriptures. What if I memorize a passage, a chapter, in the same way that I would prepare for a drama presentation. Run these thoughts through the same process and own them in the same way. I chose Mt 25 (Why? I don't know). I spoke it aloud each day. Memorized to understand. To re-speak, as though they were my thoughts- by God's Holy Spirit.
So many people say they can't memorize, but they memorize stuff all the time. Lyrics to 500 songs. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Nonsense. Baseball stats. The exact scripts of their favorite movies so they can banter back and forth with friends. But they can't commit a passage of scripture to memory and meditate on it as they go through the day?
My friend Helen and I were watching a film on the Roloff Homes for problem boys and girls. Part of the Roloff program for troubled teens was an ambitious Bible memory program to give these kids' minds "a good washing." Helen doesn't do things by halves. She declared, "If those little kids can do it, we can do it."
Great idea, Helen, where should we start? (thinking Ps 23)
John chapter 1.
You mean 1st John.
No, I mean the gospel of John.
That's 53 verses...
Yes, and we say all 53 verses to each other at the end of this month.
Okay, ambitious... but at the end of the month we both had all of John 1, because we're both pretty competitive.
But what a tremendous blessing she gave me by keeping me accountable to learn 13 verses per week, add to each section, and meditate on that wonderful chapter all month. "and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth." Wowee!
Such rich treasures I have found where there didn't seem to be anything shiny before. Verses I had passed over before, suddenly popped out in technicolor! New dimension. Communion with God as I try to think His thoughts after Him. A side effect is that occasionally a section will totally blow your mind, and your thoughts go off in all directions like fireworks as they connect with other verses from past chapters. The joy is hard to contain, but at the same time the thoughts are hard to communicate to anyone else because it all gets so BIG.
I highly recommend it. Find a faithful partner. Memorize all of Isaiah 53. Ephesians 1. James 1. The blessings you will own are immense. At the beginning of Revelation, a blessing is pronounced on whoever reads and hears the words of the prophesy of the Revelation, and keeps the things written therein. Imagine the blessing of committing those words to your heart!
Take inventory of the things you have memorized. Facts and phrases and dead words from dead books. The words in God's book are living... alive. They will act upon your heart and mind.
For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ! 1 Co 2:16
The whole idea of acting a part is not just to memorize lines and say them at the right time- you need to say the lines as though they are your thoughts.
Years after high school, while doing my quite time at home, it dawned on me. I have memorized scripts that are larger than many sections of scriptures. What if I memorize a passage, a chapter, in the same way that I would prepare for a drama presentation. Run these thoughts through the same process and own them in the same way. I chose Mt 25 (Why? I don't know). I spoke it aloud each day. Memorized to understand. To re-speak, as though they were my thoughts- by God's Holy Spirit.
So many people say they can't memorize, but they memorize stuff all the time. Lyrics to 500 songs. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Nonsense. Baseball stats. The exact scripts of their favorite movies so they can banter back and forth with friends. But they can't commit a passage of scripture to memory and meditate on it as they go through the day?
My friend Helen and I were watching a film on the Roloff Homes for problem boys and girls. Part of the Roloff program for troubled teens was an ambitious Bible memory program to give these kids' minds "a good washing." Helen doesn't do things by halves. She declared, "If those little kids can do it, we can do it."
Great idea, Helen, where should we start? (thinking Ps 23)
John chapter 1.
You mean 1st John.
No, I mean the gospel of John.
That's 53 verses...
Yes, and we say all 53 verses to each other at the end of this month.
Okay, ambitious... but at the end of the month we both had all of John 1, because we're both pretty competitive.
But what a tremendous blessing she gave me by keeping me accountable to learn 13 verses per week, add to each section, and meditate on that wonderful chapter all month. "and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth." Wowee!
Such rich treasures I have found where there didn't seem to be anything shiny before. Verses I had passed over before, suddenly popped out in technicolor! New dimension. Communion with God as I try to think His thoughts after Him. A side effect is that occasionally a section will totally blow your mind, and your thoughts go off in all directions like fireworks as they connect with other verses from past chapters. The joy is hard to contain, but at the same time the thoughts are hard to communicate to anyone else because it all gets so BIG.
I highly recommend it. Find a faithful partner. Memorize all of Isaiah 53. Ephesians 1. James 1. The blessings you will own are immense. At the beginning of Revelation, a blessing is pronounced on whoever reads and hears the words of the prophesy of the Revelation, and keeps the things written therein. Imagine the blessing of committing those words to your heart!
Take inventory of the things you have memorized. Facts and phrases and dead words from dead books. The words in God's book are living... alive. They will act upon your heart and mind.
For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ! 1 Co 2:16
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